Myself, मैं, माझे & ہم !

Manohar Kabeer
3 min readJul 11, 2020

Hindi is like my childhood friend, we grew up together & remained best friends. She was interested in me, but I was not able to appreciate her more than as a friend, an extremely good friend. While pursuing higher education, I got infatuated towards English.I proposed her and we started dating. With some initial ups & downs, we struck a chord. Now, we are planning to spend a life together. After completing my education I moved to the company I got placed & I met Marathi.

Marathi was not a stranger, but my school classmate with whom I hardly spoke. She was placed in the same company, after studying in a different college. It was smooth to strike conversations, share tea and discuss work with her. We grew up to friends from being colleagues. English was placed in a different company in a different city. It turned into a long distance relationship and the undesirable challenges. We were having a rough time.

My relationship with Hindi was also stumbling due to lack of communication and zero meetings. Once she just decided to travel on weekend and meet me. She was working in a different state of India. I could not appreciate her decision but not even disrespect it. I rearranged my schedule & decided to spend time with her. I received her on Pune railway station, kept the luggage in the station cloak room & went to my favorite cafeteria. And with lots of chat, cusswords, coffee, complaints and care, the conversation kept moving. Details of the weekend are personal, hence let’s come to the departure. I dropped her on the station and she left, both of us reassuring each-other and ourselves, that we will regularly talk. And I waived my hand to her window!! English was already sad and I gave her some more reasons tagged as missed calls and unanswered messages, to be less sad and more angry. I did not want to talk actually & did say will catch up on Monday. But she was incapable of obedience. And I dialed back to be welcomed with some tears garnished with accusations. I asked my ears to bear with her for some time as she is just feeling alone and loves me. Ears obliged but brain was defiant.Heart was just a passive observer like a victim. This continued for a week until we met on the weekend and spent time in each-other’s proximity distant from our own coldness. And then she left.

When you are closest to somebody, you are the most vulnerable. And when you are the most vulnerable, you are the most honest. I started thinking within me for a break. But did not have the guts to ask it, for I was not sure – Break or Break-Up!! I left this in a corner and the daily life with casual conversations with her flowed in. I almost forgot.

And in the parallel world, our landlord wanted us to vacate the flat, so me and my roommates started hunting. Objective was to stay near the company but away from the colleagues. We found a good landlady through FB group who was a Urdu teacher in Pune University. Sorted! We did not meet the lady until the day of displacement, reaching her on a Sunday with the tempo outside the building. She was a kind lady with high doses of etiquette and trust me one of the best MILF ever in existence!! Ok, lets say among-st my preferences!! I ended up leaving the flat not just with the keys but a crush on her lingual and physical assets. It was a new feeling. I generally finish my days with the WhatsApp chats but nowadays I remember my former and imagine future conversations with her. Weird for me too!

To be continued…

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